Disclaimer: This is going to be a very long post. If you’re short on time, feel free to check back later. For the rest of you, read on!
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Have you ever had an encounter that holds a special place in your heart? I have been fortunate enough to have had memorable encounters with absolute strangers. Today I’m going to reminisce about one such encounter on a recent trip.
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It was a pretty normal evening in Italy. We had been backpacking across Europe for the 3rd consecutive week. Our backs are numb from carrying our luggage. We are here in Milan to catch a train, one of the last ones in our month-long itinerary across Western Europe.
When we planned our trip, we decided to explore Europe by train. Flights and buses may have suited the purpose better, especially with a baby on board. But there is something very unique about train journeys. They touch your heart in ways that a car drive or a plane trip could never replace. Is it because the one who is usually behind the wheel also gets to be a part of the conversations? Or the lack of pressure when you’re flying 30,000 feet above sea level? Our hearts chose to meander through Europe on those sleepy old rails built so long ago!
We arrived in Milan a little before noon that day. Our train from Rome to Milan was not as crowded as the one from Napoli to Rome. We planned on taking the overnight from Milan to Paris for the joy of experiencing it. We had many hours to kill before we would realize that we would have to kill even more time on that train!
The first few hours of the dreaded long wait went by in a flash. We picked up lunch at a local cafe and checked out yet another Duomo. By this time, we had seen more churches than we had ever seen before! Countries in Europe sure do have a LOT of them!
It’s strange how we tread on paths we never would have thought to take in our lifetime. In those moments that we do, we thank our stars for having taken the path that never would have been. Today was one such day! When you are a child, you are often told not to talk to strangers. Of course, as you grow older, the leash loosens. You are confident in your judgment of humans because of the paths taken. I have now come to understand that you are richer with one good friend than a million who look good for the ‘gram!
After weeks of hopping in and out of trains, we chose to stay put inside Milan Centrale station until the train arrived. We reserved our phones for our daughter’s random Youtube requests. We were now posed with getting creative with our time. This was something that I did so well in the 90s but had forgotten since!
The first hour sitting in the station went by exploring the many shops and restaurants within it. We walked up and down ramps. We checked out the architecture of the station. This was something we liked doing in Europe regardless. It seemed like there was art everywhere we went. We were an hour into our long wait and were already exhausted from having to find new things to do. It was starting to be unbearable. We forced ourselves to head to an early dinner hoping to kill more time.
After the early dinner, I headed over to a secluded side of the station, still close enough to the boarding area. I slumped into one of the rock-hard seats and commenced an uncomfortable nap. I am pretty sure I looked homeless on those rickety station seats from static hair styled by the humidity and the 1000 layers I had on to keep warm in the winter. Moments later, I heard the sound of a baby’s cry. After spending eternity without a thing to do, even a baby’s cry was the most happening thing in my life. I lifted my head from my half slumber to find a mother shhh-ing her baby in a stroller. I looked at her and we exchanged smiles. A smile that only mothers everywhere would understand.
I went back to my half-slumber when I hear a voice “Is this seat taken? I looked up to find that mother gesturing to a few seats near mine. I told her to go ahead and occupy those seats. Once again, I went back to my half-slumber. This time, the voice spoke yet again. I woke up immediately from my half-nap. I was glad to finally have something to do to kill my time.
The mother proceeded to ask me if I knew what time the Thello would arrive. We exchanged some small talk and asked each other polite questions about our respective journeys. Within minutes, we had struck a bond and a lovely conversation began to flow. There was an unspoken understanding that we were going to keep each other company until the train arrived.
This was quite cool because now was my chance to test out my level 1 French on this woman. Nadia was very patient as I worked hard to construct sentences and questions. I had spent a week in France at the start of the trip where I hardly got to speak the language. The only times I got to say anything were at the stations on rare occasions to ask for directions.
Now, I had a chance to figure if I could say anything beyond “Bonjour”. Too bad for me. I felt like Rajinikanth from Padikkaathavan. Our conversation had a lot of ouis and nons. We laughed as I made horrendous errors in my French. We talked about motherhood and postpartum recovery. We compared notes on European vs Indian vs American parenting. She even explained how the French change a baby’s nappy. Talking to her reminded me of my girlfriends. I made a note to get in touch with them when I got back.
Around 9 pm, the ticketing staff informed us that the train was going to be further delayed. It didn’t matter as we loved each other’s companies. In Tamil, we have a word for these kinds of conversations – arattai which means idle gossip. The word can have different connotations. But in our case, it was certainly a good arattai. Talking to her had felt therapeutic. Was it because we were both mothers of wee little babies? Or was it because she was a stranger that made it easy for me to talk through stuff?
My husband was keeping himself busy with my daughter. He occupied her with play and exploration of the station. In the short span, Nadia and I developed such a special bond. I even helped with her baby now and then to give her a much-needed breather. We also took turns taking care of our luggage to use the restroom.
Closer to 11 pm, my daughter had a major hunger bout. I opened my bag to grab her formula. To our horror, the only bottle of water that was remaining had only an ounce of water at the most. And all the shops had closed in Milan Centrale. There was not a single shop to sell us water, let alone hot water. I searched the station all around and saw a small restaurant open up their shutters to bring in some chairs. I rushed to the shop begging the shopkeeper to sell me a bottle of water. The shopkeeper could not understand a word of what I said and sent me away.
On hearing this, Nadia told me to take care of her child so she could convince the shopkeeper in Italian. She returned with a big toothy smile, 2 large glasses of milk, and a huge bottle of water to last us more than a day. We gave one glass of milk to my daughter and the other one we shared. Would it even surprise you if I told you she refused to take the money for the food? I insisted but Nadia said something that I had not heard in many years. “No formalities in our friendship”. This was a phrase I have only heard in India. We refuse “Thank you” or “Sorry” in friendships and close relationships.
At a little past 11 pm, we were all called to our boarding gates. Nadia stood in another line as we had different types of reservations, unfortunately. We kept mouthing to each other that we would meet after we passed our checkpoint.
Past the boarding gate, Nadia asked to meet me once we had settled in the train to exchange emails and numbers. I agreed and told her I would go to her seat as she was traveling alone with her baby. We got on our train. After we settled down in our seats, I decided to visit Nadia. Unfortunately, they had closed off the access doors for the night. I decided to try again in the morning. The next morning as we made it to Paris, it was already too late. The boarding gate at Milan was the last of Nadia and her beautiful friendship. But the memory of the special conversations we shared in that short span is for a lifetime.
I had come into Milan on that winter’s day satisfied with all the experiences of the journey so far. I closed off my door for more and chose to stay put in the station. But life had one more in store for me that day! The thing that struck me at the end of it all was that a lot of my vacation memories were even better because of my beautiful encounters with these strangers.
Nadia, if you’re reading this (in some miraculous way), I’m sure you recognize this Indian woman. I would love to reconnect!