Toilet Paper Wars

Rubens slumps his shoulders as the forklift drops off another load of boxes to be put away. Today was not a good day. He was informed his store had decided to terminate a special plan which guaranteed employees a package of toilet paper every month. This way, even though he witnessed people’s toilet paper troubles first hand, he was never affected by it. 

His local mega department store had been facing so many toilet paper management issues recently due to the pandemic. They needed someone whose only role in the store was to ensure the toilet paper aisle were fully stocked at all times. He landed this special job – Toilet paper manager. Rubens thought this was the best idea.Handling one product would be easier and give him more time off to focus on his other goals. 

This quickly changed within the first week at the supermarket. His life had turned upside down. Over the next few weeks, he witnessed what could only be described as toilet paper wars. The store had become tired of telling people not to hoard. They even brought in limits. Nothing worked. Families had become smart. They took turns and came everyday to fill their trunks. People purchased these wads of paper in unimaginable numbers. He wondered if they were going to wash an elephant’s bum.

Fast forward to today, Rubens received the horrible news of the store shoving the special benefit as the pandemic had stretched everyone’s limits. And now he was going to have to be in this battlefield first hand. He was beyond frustrated working long hours. He had worked non-stop with 5 min breaks everyday. And now he wasn’t given even a strand of the only silver lining.

Rubens stacked the packages one on top of the other with little regard to perfection. Suddenly, he heard a couple standing a few feet away from him discuss how they were going to  purchase toilet paper. The man wanted the  2 year plan. The woman was indignant. She was not going to leave without a 5 year plan. Rubens had had enough. He was angered at the couple planning to hoard. He turned around to give them a piece of his mind. He started to say “Your plan is …….” when he had an A-HA moment. “GENIUS”.

He left his packages mid-way. He ran to his backoffice and turned on his computer. He was due to place an order anyway. Rubens quickly emailed the toilet paper company. The company responded the same day that they would have to consult with the store’s head office. The response had not seemed positive. Rubens went back to stacking multiple packages for the rest of the week. He had not heard back from his client. 

On Monday, Rubens walked into work. His manager and colleagues were waiting for him in his toilet paper aisle with wide grins. Rubens was confused. The manager handed him an envelope. He opened up the envelope to find the store’s brand new 2 year toilet paper contract that guaranteed and limited toilet paper to every household with a considerable discount if they purchased from the same brand. 

Medical researchers were working hard to get a vaccine out. The government was rolling out orders to practice social distancing effectively. Stores, no longer faced shortages. Thanks to Rubens’s 2 year contract plan. Businesses were now rolling out contracts that guaranteed products to customers rain or shine.

He went back home that evening a happy employee. He opened his laptop to check his emails. His application for online education had been approved. Ruben’s new job was indeed a great role. 

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Pakoda Story – Waiting for Mr. Kamesh

I hear an annoying buzz in my ear. It’s the damn fly again. A man pedals by on his bicycle. The smell of pakodas are wafting in the air. Mmmm….. delicious! I bet it’s the Pakoda House. Maybe I’ll swing by later…

HONK! A car wants me to move out of the way. Maybe I’ll swing by now. So I start walking to my favorite spot, the king of the food street- Pakoda House. Seriously, this is the best place in the world. The owner Mr. Kamesh adores me and I charm him into giving me a pakoda or two. Mr. Kamesh, who smells of pakodas and chutney, is the nicest man you will ever know.

I am waiting in line and don’t understand why it is his assistant handing out the food today. Where is Mr.Kamesh? I ask but no one seems to respond. I go closer to the assistant. He pats me on my back and smiles but doesn’t say a thing. I refuse the pakodas and decide to wait a little longer. A few hours later, my best friend Mani comes by for his afternoon samosa. Still no sign of Mr.Kamesh. I wait all day by the corner of the shop for Mr. Kamesh. My day is never complete without him.

It is now night. The cows in the street are fast asleep. The low rumble of vehicles are heard lesser and lesser as the hours pass by. It is almost midnight when a vague smell of pakodas and chutney fills the air. I perk up my ears to hear the footsteps that followed. A hand strokes my back and ruffles my ears. I jump up to find Mr. Kamesh smiling at me. We hug it out. He brings me a bowl of my favorite dog food and puts in two pakodas as opposed to the usual one and says “I’m sorry Raja I made you wait all day. This extra one is to say I’m sorry.” It is all good. I swallow both pakodas in one huge bite. I can now finally have a good night’s sleep. 

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